Struggling to Remain Optimistic

I am struggling to remain optimistic with President Barack Obama's administration. The hoped for promise of change has not come, as of yet. I did not expect over night changes. Truth be told, I thought President Obama's campaign slogans were just that--slogans to win his campaign for the presidency. Still, I wanted him to win for many reasons even though I had my own personal reservations. Generally speaking, I am deeply suspicious of politicians.

His election to the presidency was a historic night. I was in awe. The next day I cried, as I shared with my students my elation that I had lived to see the day when an African American would be elected to the highest public office in the United States. My tears were as much for those fallen ancestors in the struggle that had not lived to see a black man become president, as much as for their descendants that did.

President Obama's victory represented many things. That historic night I was proud to be a part of a country that was able to make a collected shift in conscious to envision the possibility of a man of color leading this nation from the oval office of the White House. I admit in my naivete that I never imagined the overwhelmingly racially charged backlash that would accompany that shift in conscious. Old demons don't die easily or willingly.

President Obama's election was a hammer on the head to the lingering, if not continuing legacy of slavery in America. Racial discrimination and bigotry in all of its manifestations remains a collective stain on the psyche of our nation. Our country must still still atone for its hostile neglect of the indigenous, native American people, as well as other ethnic minority groups along with its mistreatment of women and poor whites.

America is still attempting to come to terms with the multi-racial and multi-ethnic heritage of this country. Even President Obama, with his claims to being multi-ethnic is clearly uncomfortable addressing the complexity of race in American life. He seems afraid to address the issue of race for fear that he will be seen, as partisan. Yet,our country is not post-racial, though following Dr. Eric Michael Dyson's lead, our country should strive to be post-racist without losing the wonderful contributions of ethnicity.

With all of the above written in place, I am uncomfortable admitting that I am at odds with the President on some of his decisions. I think a bail out plan for "Wall Street" was wrong at the expense of proposing a similar bail out for the "average" Joe citizen that did not conspire to corrupt the financial system of our country. I do not understand his reluctance to pursue criminal investigations into the Bush administration. Underprivileged people are disproportionately represented in the penal system for crimes of lest severity than those that may have been committed under the former presidential administration.

I am disheartened that President Obama is pursuing a military intervention in Afghanistan that cannot be won. The dilemmas of the Middle East will not be resolved through military might. History has demonstrated that fact quite impeccably. The United States is facing imperil on a domestic level that will have repercussions for generations. There are too many people in our country without health insurance, employment, or housing to merit secondary consideration for a misplaced priority of military intervention in another part of the world.

I am in the compromised position of wanting to support President Obama, because of what he represents to so many of us. I understand that Obama, the symbol, is not Obama, the person. Yet, Obama is "our" president for many that have never been able to say that in good conscious before him. Many of us have "bought in" to the system like never before because of him, and probably will continue to do so. I just wish I could move past the nagging doubt and suspicion that I don't trust some of the decisions he is making.